MLIIWTFL Chapter 247

247

As expected, something strange was going on in the East as well. Even knowing the truth, it didn't hold much real significance.

"Besides, I heard that Lady Averil was terribly abused by a vicious governess when she was young. It seems the guilt of not being able to protect her back then became the main reason for their overprotectiveness."

"Guilt, you say…? I suppose that makes sense. My brother used to feel guilty whenever our parents praised him. And he would try to pay more attention to me afterward."

Perhaps Ezkhiel could understand, at least in part, the eccentricities of the ducal family. He showed a faint, sympathetic look. That was likely a feeling Letticia, who had never experienced abuse herself, could not truly grasp.

"Ez, honestly, I just don't get it. Yes, Lady Averil was the youngest, and she suffered the most abuse, but the brothers were still just children at the time too. It was the adults who failed to protect her, so why do the young lords feel such deep guilt?"

"…Precisely because they were children, Letty. They couldn't help but feel that way."

Ezkhiel answered gravely.

"When you're a child, whenever something goes wrong, you tend to blame yourself. You can't even imagine that the fault might lie elsewhere."

"So, you're saying they believed it was their responsibility to fix it? That they thought there was something they could have done?"

"They couldn't see it objectively. Even my brother used to blame himself, thinking he should've shielded and cared for me more. Looking back now, he… he really did everything he could, and yet…"

As Ezkhiel spoke, his hand trembled.

Even now, though he had sent his parents away to the countryside, recalling those times made his body react instinctively.

Feeling sorry for him, Letticia shifted closer and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Ezkhiel gave a weak smile and returned her embrace.

"…Thank you, Letty."

"Good. If you had said 'sorry,' I wouldn't have let it slide so easily."

"I got scolded by my brother plenty of times before, for saying things like that."

They leaned into each other for a while, sharing warmth in silence.

Then Ezkhiel spoke again.

"…Honestly, after hearing all this, I kind of wish you'd just stop here, Letty."

"Why? Is something bothering you?"

When Letticia looked up at him, Ezkhiel wore that particular expression he often made when struggling to put difficult thoughts into words.

"I know for certain that His Highness the Crown Prince, as well as the three men of the ducal house, bear the wounds of having grown up in unhappy families. If it were within my power, I would wish to heal at least His Highness, if not the dukes' household. But…"

Ezkhiel rolled his eyes slightly, searching for the right words, before finally continuing.

"…It doesn't seem like any of them are ready to accept that they're wounded at all."

"Accept that they're wounded?"

Letticia echoed his words, and Ezkhiel nodded as he explained.

"To admit that your situation was wrong… that you were a victim of abuse… it's incredibly difficult. Even when my brother kept telling me, and I'd answer that I understood, it wasn't until several years after I'd entered the academy that I truly realized and acknowledged it. Until then, I thought the reason I trembled so much in front of my parents was just because I was a coward."

"But why? If you were beaten by your parents, of course you'd be scared of them."

"…Because once you face the wound directly, you also have to relive the pain that comes with it."

"……"

Letticia was left speechless, staring blankly at Ezkhiel. He went on calmly.

"When you turn away from the wound, you can also turn away from the pain. You can rationalize it, tell yourself it wasn't really suffering. But once you recognize it as a wound, you can't ignore it anymore. Even if you try to deny it with lies, or downplay it as nothing much, you can't erase it."

"…Still, if you don't face it, how can you ever heal? Wouldn't avoiding it only make things worse?"

"When you're in that deep, you don't even think healing is possible. If the pain is going to stay with you forever, then at least you'd rather not feel it so sharply… And honestly, you don't want to see yourself scarred like that either."

Letticia had tried to understand Ezkhiel's pain before, but hearing him speak like this, she realized she still hadn't truly known the depth of it and her heart ached for him.

Seeing her distressed expression, Ezkhiel immediately gave a gentle smile and guided her head to rest on his shoulder.

"Don't make that face, Letty. The time when talking about this was hard for me has already passed."

"…It's just… knowing that you ever had to go through such a time at all, that's what breaks my heart, Ez."

"The past can't be helped. It's not like we get to choose our parents."

The way Ezkhiel said it so casually now only made the depth of his past wounds more apparent.

Then he calmly shifted the topic back to Matthias and the ducal family.

"That's why, if you try to make them face their wounds, the resistance will be intense. And you're not even that close with them, Letty. They could resent you, accuse you of meddling, maybe even use you as an outlet for their anger… That's why I want to stop you."

"I know that much. But even if I let the other three be, we can't just leave His Highness the Crown Prince like that. Not only for the sake of our family and me, but especially for you, Ez. You'd end up suffering the most."

Letticia burrowed deeper into his arms. Ezkhiel's ears turned red, and he averted his eyes slightly as he asked.

"Then what about the ducal heirs? Why are you so intent on helping them too?"

"Because if His Highness really comes to like Lady Averil, those men will no doubt cause a scene with you. Honestly, I'd love to just crack their skulls open, but since they're dukes' sons, I can't exactly do that. So at the very least, I need to minimize the chaos. And eventually, I'll make sure they apologize to you."

"I don't really need an apology, Letty. If it's forced out of them, it'll just make things more uncomfortable."

"That's exactly why I want to make them genuinely reflect. Besides, if they stay the way they are, Lady Averil will keep suffering. They should at least be given a chance to become decent human beings."

At those words, Ezkhiel seemed to make up his mind about something and spoke firmly to her.

"Then, I'll handle His Highness myself. It would probably go over better if it came from me rather than from you."

"You, Ez? But you said you'd never touch His Highness's personal matters."

"Still, if I bring it up, it'll cause less resistance. And… since I'm where I am today because of His Highness, I want to repay him if I can. If I could at least help him get ready to begin loving someone, that alone would feel like a way of repaying the grace he showed me."

Letticia couldn't argue with that. The reason she could never completely turn her back on Matthias was, in no small part, because of what he had done for Ezkhiel.

And as Ezkhiel said, it was he—not Letticia—who was closer to Matthias.

"…It'll be hard, though. Are you really sure? What if you end up on His Highness's bad side because of it?"

"I already told you before, didn't I? I'm good at phrasing things delicately and asking indirectly."

"Phew… Well, if you ever think you're about to be dismissed, then come work for our family. Whether it's Sharon Jewelry or my own business, a man who served as the Crown Prince's chief aide will always be welcome."

Letticia purposely said it lightly, and Ezkhiel gave a soft laugh.

Unlike when she consulted her family, her words now were meant solely to soothe his hidden anxieties. Feeling grateful for that consideration, Letticia hugged him tightly once more.

***

—Would it be all right if I stop by briefly with my elder brother? I'd like to give you an invitation to his birthday banquet.

The day after Ezkhiel's visit, Letticia received this request from Ariette.

To be cautious, she enlisted Lenard to accompany her in welcoming the guests.

She might not have minded if it were Achilles, but facing Alexander alone was unsettling.

So Lenard delayed going to work that day in order to sit by his younger sister's side.

"Thank you for bringing the invitation in person. We're grateful for the Duke of Averil family's kindness."

"Our Arie said she greatly enjoyed the gathering, so as her brother, I thought it only proper to personally express my gratitude to you, Lady Letticia. And, truth be told, I was also curious to see the place where she studies."

Unlike Achilles or the Duke, who had contacted her directly through the communication orb, Alexander had remained silent, making her wonder if something had changed.

But since he had chosen to come in person like this, it seemed mere correspondence wasn't enough to reassure him.

Alexander's sharp eyes were still hidden behind a polite smile, unchanged as ever. But recalling what she had heard from Achilles, Letticia endured with patience, telling herself to treat him as she would a patient in need of care.

"In that case, would you care for some tea in my parlor before you leave? Since you've come all this way, I couldn't possibly send you off without offering some refreshment."

"Since you put it that way, I'll gladly accept."

Thus, the four of them sat together in Letticia's drawing room, drinking tea.

Lenard, the only one with a cup of coffee in hand, suddenly seemed to recall something and addressed Ariette.

"Come to think of it, Lady Averil, Sir Bright mentioned you'd managed to resign safely? I'm glad to hear things have worked out for you."

"Ah, yes. Thanks to that, I can now focus fully on both my studies and the gatherings. I'm really grateful, my lord."

Just as Alexander's eyes began to sharpen at the sight of the two conversing, Letticia quickly cut in with a smile, directing her words toward him.

"And I also heard that you and Sir Achilles went to see Sir Bright, asking about His Highness the Crown Prince's intentions, didn't you?"

"What? Brother, you went to see Sir Bright?"

Ariette turned to Alexander in surprise, while he answered with a soft smile.