MLIIWTFL Chapter 246

246

"Wouldn't that be enough? Really?"

When Letticia asked again, Ezkhiel firmly shook his head.

"No. Trying to fill the wounds left by family with the love of a partner… in the end, it won't take the shape one truly longs for. And even if you did begin a romance, that alone wouldn't solve everything."

"But Ez, ever since you and I started dating, you managed to resolve things with your parents, and you've become so much more confident too."

"Of course, being with you was what triggered that. But just becoming your lover didn't instantly fix everything. If your father hadn't said those words to me the day I came to greet him, I'd probably still be wondering if I even had the right to stay by your side. I wouldn't have had the chance to deal with my parents at all."

Ezkhiel gave a wry smile as he recalled that day.

Thinking back now, knowing Patrick's personality, it wasn't as if Ezkhiel had been particularly impressive. Yet, the fact that Patrick had kept it to a single question—"Did you approach my daughter because of her volunteer work?"—was something Ezkhiel found himself grateful for.*

"Hearing the Count's words that day made me realize I needed to carry myself with more confidence. And when Her Highness the Princess and others congratulated us too, it gave me… maybe not confidence exactly, but at least some peace of mind. Thanks to that, I felt strong enough to stand up to Lord Jarvis and even my own parents."

"So, love really isn't some all-powerful cure-all, huh. What do we do then…?"

Among the people Letticia knew, the only one who had overcome a painful family history was Ezkhiel. But if even he hadn't overcome it with love alone, then what on earth would it take to bring Matthias back to his senses?

"And honestly… His Highness doesn't even seem to be in a state where he could fall in love."

"Do you think so too, Ez?"

"Yes. I once asked him directly, and His Highness didn't even acknowledge having feelings for Lady Averil. All he talked about was how their union would play out politically."

Hearing Ezkhiel describe, word for word, Matthias's classic stage of denying his own feelings, just as in the original novel, Letticia tipped her head back in frustration, staring at the ceiling.

It wasn't unusual for people to rationalize by hiding behind logic instead of admitting their true feelings. But because the person in question was Matthias, it made it all the more unbearable to watch.

If someone couldn't even admit they loved another person, how were they supposed to love at all?

Unless Ariette were some saint chosen to save him, she'd eventually collapse under the weight of it and give up.

And honestly, the kind of unconditional, selfless love Matthias needed was usually something only family, specifically a parent, could give, not a lover.

'So what he needs isn't a girlfriend but a mother. What he needs isn't romance, it's therapy. Damn it.'

If you pushed someone who truly needed healing into a romance, the only result would be that two people ended up hurt instead of one.

Not to mention Ariette already had her hands full, with not just Matthias, but also the three deeply troubled members of the Duke's family, and maybe even her own unhealed wounds to deal with.

But Matthias had already begun to move, and both Count Sharon's household and Ezkhiel's wellbeing were tied up in his actions. Even if she gave up on saving the Duke's family, abandoning Matthias was not an option.

'In the original story… wasn't it when Ariette got into an accident on her way back to her estate and went missing, presumed dead, that was what finally shocked Matthias into realizing his feelings?'

Up until then, even when suitors like Lord Carmen proposed to Ariette, Matthias never once confessed he loved her, he'd only glare and drive them off. It had driven readers mad with frustration.

And even after he realized his feelings, it still took him ages to admit them. He'd keep making excuses to delay proposing, repeating the same missteps over and over again.

"Then when His Highness proposes to Lady Averil, what exactly does he plan to say? He's not just going to shove a ring at her without a word, right?"

"I don't know that myself. It seems like he's trying to come up with a way to persuade her, but I doubt the Duke's family would be eager to push for an alliance with the imperial family…"

"If he tries to use political logic to persuade her, it'll backfire. Even proving it with love might not be enough."

"That's why I think he intends to persuade the Lady directly."

Letticia scoffed inwardly. Good luck persuading her.

Ariette was the type of person who believed wholeheartedly that one should only marry for love. That was why, in the original story, she had flat-out rejected Matthias's proposal, declaring firmly that she would marry only someone she truly loved.

Matthias had tried to convince her with arguments about the Empire's political stability, the prosperity of the ducal house, and the bright future they could build together for the Empire if they married. But Ariette had refused that loveless proposal to the very end.

It was only after Matthias finally acknowledged his own feelings that the two of them came together. If Letticia remembered right, it was around then that Matthias's family history had come to light as well.

'The problem is… I can't remember the details.'

She couldn't recall why Matthias was so estranged from the rest of his family. He had introduced Ariette to Judith, yes, but Eustace and Empress Lilliana never appeared, and the Emperor was only mentioned in passing.

There had even been hints about the late Empress Emilia, but even after hearing about her just now from the Duchess, Letticia still couldn't remember how it had been revealed in the story.

'Come to think of it, I don't remember much about the ending either, other than the fact that the two of them eventually got married.'

It was as if the narrative had deliberately blurred out those details to avoid spoilers. But then how was she supposed to deal with Matthias now? His status already overwhelmed hers, if she at least remembered his emotional weak points, she might have had something to work with.

Feeling cornered, Letticia sighed. Ezkhiel gently reached out and held her hand.

"Why are you suddenly bringing up His Highness's emotional wounds? Did the Duchess of Dinever tell you something?"

"…I asked her about the late Empress. I couldn't exactly ask my mother, so…"

"The late Empress…" 

Ezkhiel muttered, looking troubled.

Letticia wondered just how much Matthias himself knew, and began recounting to Ezkhiel what she had heard from the Duchess earlier.

"According to the Duchess, back when the late Empress was still active in society, she was harshly criticized over the Diamond Selection incident. Because of that, she fell into a serious illness of the mind. But now, no one dares to speak about the matter in detail."

"It's not just that they avoid details. There was an actual gag order concerning the late Empress."

"A gag order?"*

Letticia's eyes widened in surprise. Ezkhiel instinctively lowered his voice as he explained.

"I don't know the palace's inner affairs all that well, but I've heard that His Majesty the Emperor himself ordered that no one was to speak of the late Empress. And most of the ladies-in-waiting who once served her were either dismissed or sent away to the provinces. Everyone who remembers that time has sealed their lips. So within the palace, there's no way to hear anything about her."

"It's that strict? I never heard a word of this in society."

"There are different kinds of gag orders. Some make a subject a taboo that everyone avoids outright. Others… simply ensure that the matter won't be passed down, letting it fade naturally into silence over time."

So it wasn't just because people feared Camilla's watchful eyes, there really had been deliberate effort to erase the late Empress from memory.

Just what had the Emperor thought of his first wife? If his marriage to Empress Lilliana had been one of true love, then was it because his first marriage had been so unhappy that he'd wanted to erase all traces of the late Empress?

And what about Matthias, what had he thought, watching his father behave like that?

"Why are you so intent on digging into His Highness's wounds? Did the Duchess say something that made you certain he means to harm the Sharon family?"

"Something far more dreadful. It seems His Highness read parts of the late Empress's diary that the Duchess had been keeping."

"The late Empress's diary?"

Ezkhiel's eyes widened. Letticia chose her words carefully, softening them more than she had when speaking with her own family.

"Yes. And not just any part, the entries written near the very end, when her illness had grown so severe that she saw the whole world as her enemy, when all she had left was bitterness and resentment. I imagine they were filled with curses, against my mother, against His Majesty, against society… against everyone."

"…I can't be certain he read it, but back when we were in the Academy, His Highness didn't dislike high society. Yet when I saw him again after graduation, he had already changed into the man he is now. Perhaps that diary was the cause…"

"Seventeen to eighteen years old… that's right at the end of adolescence."

It was the perfect age to go astray, especially after learning the truth about his mother.

"As if the three men of the Ducal House weren't already enough of a headache, now even His Highness the Crown Prince is acting like this… I really don't know what to do anymore."

"The three men of the Ducal House? Letty, did the three from the Averil Duchy cause trouble again?" 

Ezkhiel asked in surprise. Letticia shook her head and replied.

"They didn't do anything in particular, but it turns out their family environment is much more problematic than I thought. It seems all three of them became twisted because of the wounds they suffered while growing up."

"Problems in their family environment?"

"Yes. Aside from Lady Averil, they hardly even talk to each other. When we first held a gathering, I got contacted separately by both Sir Achilles and the Duke. I suggested they could just discuss it with each other directly, but they looked at me as if such a thought had never even crossed their minds. I was speechless."

Ezkhiel frowned, clearly not understanding.

"They don't talk? Not even between father and son, or among brothers?"

"Exactly. And according to Sir Achilles, they had private tutors starting from the age of three. Is it that the eastern region is unusually early about such things, or is that family just strange?"

"Three years old…."

Ezkhiel's eyes widened. But unlike Kenneth, he soon seemed to recall something and nodded.

"Now that you mention it, I did hear back when I was staying in the East that the Averil Dukedom was known for starting their children's education unusually early. Still, I never would've imagined they began as young as three…."

🍓; *"Do you think she's with you out of pity?"

*It means the Imperial court or those in power officially prohibited people from talking about the late Empress, likely to suppress rumors, scandals, or politically dangerous information.