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After Ezkhiel left, Matthias stared at the closed door and muttered with a cynical tone.
"They too are citizens of the Empire I must govern… you're far too slow to realize that."
When Matthias first appointed Ezkhiel as his chief aide, opposition from the high-ranking nobles poured in, protesting that he had chosen the younger son of a mere baron as his close confidant.
Even among fellow aides, there were plenty who refused to take orders from the son of Baron Bright, even if they were willing to obey the son of the Duke of Barthset, Minister of the Interior. Their defiance hindered work on many occasions.
Of course, whenever he found the right excuse, Matthias dismissed or demoted such people without hesitation, replacing them with talented individuals of lower birth. Still, he was well aware through reports that many nobles continued to scorn Ezkhiel and spread rumors behind his back.
It would only be natural for Ezkhiel to harbor resentment against those outdated old nobles. Yet Matthias had never once heard him utter a single word of slander about them.
Of course, when Matthias gave orders to punish them, Ezkhiel never went out of his way to stop him either. But he never personally sought revenge against anyone.
'If he were that kind of person, he would have accepted my proposal to send his parents into exile long ago.'
How furious Matthias had been when Ezkhiel, the very victim, refused his offer, saying there was no justifiable reason, and instead chose to endure it.
Though he sympathized with Ezkhiel's feelings, since hesitation was inevitable when it came to one's parents, and didn't press further, Matthias could never understand why Ezkhiel extended that same forbearance even toward unrelated old nobles.
And yet, for Ezkhiel to speak so frankly just now… it meant that in the eyes of his highly capable chief aide, Matthias's hostility toward the old nobles seemed like an excessive and unjust course of action.
Because the words came from someone he trusted and had personally granted the right to speak plainly, Matthias knew it was proper to listen carefully. He struggled to suppress the hatred that kept welling up in his chest.
"Yes… for His Majesty's sake, it's necessary to keep conciliatory measures in mind. After all, His Majesty is a man who seeks compromise even with people like them."
In the early days of Emperor Philip's reign, rebellions had erupted during the purges of his cousin, once a political rival, and the nobles under him. Perhaps because of that, the Emperor despised giving the old nobles any excuse for conflict. He constantly taught Matthias to find a middle ground and settle matters within reason.
…That I should compromise with the very people who drove my mother to her death…
'Mother…'
When Matthias was five years old, he mistook Empress Liliana, whom he met for the first time, for his real mother. The Emperor didn't bother correcting his misunderstanding, he only told him to get along well with her.
So until Eustace and Judith were born, and until the day he entered the chamber that housed portraits of past emperors and empresses, Matthias firmly believed that the woman with the same blue eyes as his siblings was his own mother.
But even after learning that his red eyes, unlike those of either parent, were inherited from someone else, Matthias never heard a single word about his true mother.
No one in the palace spoke of the late Empress Emilia. Even his nanny, who had raised him, and the chief attendant responsible for his education, would only ever give the same reply whenever the subject arose.
"Her Majesty, the late Empress, was the last descendant of the Allstair grand ducal house, a branch family of the imperial line. Sadly, she passed away young due to illness."
Tired of hearing the same answer over and over again, Matthias eventually stopped asking.
Later, when he studied history and learned how many rulers throughout time had been locked in power struggles with their stepmothers and half-siblings, and what tragic fates awaited heirs who lost such battles, he could no longer treat Empress Liliana and Eustace the same as before.
Even if the Empress had signed a contract upon marriage that her firstborn child would inherit the Duchy of Grenier, her natal family's estate, ambition for the throne could easily render such agreements meaningless.
Thus, the chief attendant's constant warnings, that one must always be wary of those who could become political rivals, were said to be the very principles followed by his grandfather, the Great Emperor Michael.
Matthias grew sick of hearing that he should revere his grandfather and strive to become a ruler like him. Still, becoming a great emperor like the one they called "the Great" was also Matthias's own dream.
And the life of that successful sovereign served as a proven model, a roadmap that Matthias deemed worthy of emulating.
Yet shortly before graduating from the Academy, Matthias happened to learn that Lady Elaine Dinever, Duchess of Dinever, had once been the late Empress's lady-in-waiting.
Though she had resigned from her position near the end of the Empress's life due to family matters, she had surely been closer to his mother than most. So Matthias believed, perhaps even hoped, that she would not give him the same rehearsed answer as the others.
"What kind of person was my late mother?"
"…She was kind and innocent. She loved reading, and from time to time, she would grow homesick for the North, where she was born."
From the Duchess, whom he had sought out on impulse, Matthias heard, for the very first time, something different about his mother. Eager for more, he pressed her with questions, but the Duchess spoke only of a few simple memories from the Empress's lifetime.
That sometimes she went into the gardens to weave crowns, necklaces, and rings out of flowers. That she was always in high spirits when northern dishes were served at meals. That she used to copy down lines she liked from novels and poems into a notebook.
These seemingly trivial recollections began to breathe life into the image of his mother, who until then had been nothing more than a still figure trapped in an unmoving portrait.
Why, Matthias wondered, had no one else ever shared even this much with him?
Still not yet an adult, Matthias was too young to grasp the reasons behind such secrecy. Overjoyed simply to hear stories of his mother for the first time, he asked the Duchess if she had kept any of her belongings.
The Duchess, with the plea that he never forget his mother, gave him a notebook in which the late Empress had copied her favorite poems. Back at the palace, Matthias pored over its pages one by one, reading every line carefully.
At first, the writing seemed rough and difficult to read, and he briefly wondered if his mother had simply had poor penmanship. But between the beautiful verses of poetry, he soon came across jarring entries filled with raw grief, fury, and hatred, words that left him utterly shocked.
[Today I dreamt of making a ring of flowers with Mother to give to Father. If only I could stay in that dream forever… how I despise the maid who woke me. She must want to torment me like the others.
Even though Elaine promised to drive her out, my anger hasn't eased. No matter, any new maid will be the same. I wish there were no maids at all, only Elaine.]
[His Majesty finally came to see me after so long. When he looked at me, his expression twisted strangely. When I told him the maids had tormented me, he didn't believe me at all.
He took my family's lands, my title, my bloodline, and then discarded me. Once I die, he'll be glad to take a new empress. He'll give her my father's name and estate. He'll even give her my son. No… I won't let him. This child is mine. My son. No one will take him from me.]
[I want to see Elaine. She said she would return in a few months, so why hasn't she? Of course… it must be His Majesty who forbids her from coming.
All the maids are gone now, replaced by mute servants. It's unbearable. I am the Empress, why am I being treated this way?]
[It's all because of that woman, Camilla. She must have debuted at the same time as me deliberately, to spite me. If not for her, they would never have called me a diamond pressed against a wall by a brighter jewel.
They all praised her as a ruby instead. She was showered with admiration, free to marry the man she loved, with even His Majesty offering his congratulations, while her parents still lived… Why must I alone suffer such misfortune?]
[No… it's His Majesty's fault. If he hadn't made me Crown Princess, I would never have been this miserable. He took my family, my lands, even the child who carries my blood… and now he won't even let me see Elaine. Instead, he's locked me away to wither and die. It's obvious, His Majesty must be wishing for my death.]
[No, it's the nobles' fault. I never asked to be called a diamond, but still they point their fingers only at me, criticize only me. And then they act all righteous while laughing behind my back. I wish they would all just die.]
[What was my son's name again? His red eyes were so beautiful, just like my father's, that I wanted to give him a name taken from my father's. But His Majesty gave him another name instead. I want to see him, but His Majesty won't let him out. I miss him, my son.]
[Father, Mother… why did you leave so soon? Why didn't you give me life as a son instead? I hate it here. It's unbearable. Please, let me go back to the Allstair Grand Duchy where I was with you. Please come and take me away. I miss you…]
The forgotten diary of the late Empress, barely remembered by anyone, contained the full weight of her torment.
Smeared handwriting filled with curses and pleas, pages stained with tear marks… Matthias, realizing the truth about his mother he had never known, was overcome with rage and flung the notebook aside.
"What… what is this? What kind of life did Mother have to endure?!"
The diary of grief, cursing the Emperor, Camilla, the nobles, and the world itself until her dying breath, completely changed the course of Matthias's life.
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