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Throughout my previous life, every step of my investigation into Ahn Hyeongsik had been obstructed by Yoon Doyoon. So much so that I eventually couldn't tell whether I was fighting Ahn Hyeongsik or Yoon Doyoon anymore.
And now I was supposed to believe that he had actually been an undercover operative, cooperating from the shadows—just like me—to put Ahn Hyeongsik behind bars? How could I possibly accept that?
"Does that make any sense? I was on the absolute front line of the Ahn Hyeongsik investigation. There's no way there was an undercover agent I didn't know about."
"That was my condition. That you wouldn't know I existed."
Yoon Doyoon stepped closer and carefully removed the sword from my hand. Then he continued.
"Bae Junghoon. Lee Seokmin. Choi Youngjin. Ha Junyoung. Nam Heesuk. Han Daejin."
"…!"
As the names slipped from his lips, my eyes widened in shock.
"They were taken out by Ahn Hyeongsik. In that order, weren't they?"
"How do you even know that…?"
My colleagues, officially written off as victims of tragic accidents, or suicides driven by investigative pressure. People who had once been my superiors, my comrades… another family to me.
Some of their deaths had never even crossed my mind as Ahn Hyeongsik's doing.
At Yoon Doyoon's words, I finally understood what Senior Daejin had been trying to say before he lost consciousness.
He had been the last person who knew the truth, that Yoon Doyoon was undercover.
'Yoon Doyoon, that bastard… that poor bastard. Because of me, because I pushed him into that hell. And now I'm the only one left who knows. If I die like this…'
Senior Daejin had been the one who stopped Yoon Doyoon from fleeing overseas and forced him to remain by Ahn Hyeongsik's side as an undercover agent.
And once Daejin died, there would be no one left to remember him at all.
That was why, in his final moments, he had called out Yoon Doyoon's name.
"Why...why didn't you tell me? Why?"
"I warned them over and over that the man was dangerous. That it was a trap. But they still rushed in like moths to a flame."
Yoon Doyoon frowned deeply, as if utterly sick of it all, and let out a weary sigh.
"Even knowing I was undercover, they couldn't let go of their faint suspicions of me. And so they fell, far too easily, into the trap Ahn Hyeongsik deliberately left open."
"…!"
"And how can you be so sure, that you wouldn't do the same?"
There was none.
The investigation into Ahn Hyeongsik was bleak, like throwing eggs at a rock. We clung desperately to even the smallest possibility, mistaking it for hope.
"It was better for you to stay wary of me. To doubt me. If that made you act more cautiously, then it was the only way—however small—to keep you safe. That was the best I could do."
"So you're saying… you weren't the one who got me killed?"
"Yes."
As if recalling that moment, Yoon Doyoon suddenly contorted his face.
"You don't seem to remember, but I gave you everything. Every single piece of data. Everything that could have driven Ahn Hyeongsik to ruin. It was everything I'd gathered over my entire life."
"I-I don't remember."
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't recall ever receiving those materials from Yoon Doyoon. It was as if that entire day had been cleanly erased.
I had lived a long time bearing the name Cherrya Emblem, so fading memories wouldn't have been strange—but this felt different. The missing fragments were too neatly excised, as if cut away with a blade.
"I said that once we dealt with Ahn Hyeongsik, we'd leave together. To the place that Auntie had planned for the two of us."
"…!"
"But Ahn Hyeongsik realized it. My betrayal."
Yoon Doyoon's voice trembled with fury.
"Ahn Hyeongsik was never sloppy when it came to eliminating people. He was rushed this time, because he knew what kind of power you were holding in your hands."
The materials Yoon Doyoon had passed to me, exploiting the brief opening Ahn Hyeongsik hadn't prepared for, were what ultimately led to my death.
Yoon Doyoon seemed burdened by guilt over it, perhaps even consumed by self-reproach.
And it all felt horrifyingly real.
The resentment and hatred I had carried toward Yoon Doyoon, long buried inside me, were swallowed up in an instant.
"What do you think I did after you died like that?"
"……"
A cold smile surfaced at the corner of Yoon Doyoon's lips. His eyes, gleaming with hatred and rage, were fixed on me, yet it felt as though he was staring at something beyond me instead.
I knew that look.
"A person slowly losing their sanity can be a blessing, in its own way."
When I learned that the one who had murdered the people who might have become my parents was Ahn Hyeongsik.
When hatred completely consumed me and I lost all reason.
Those were the eyes I saw reflected back at me in the mirror.
"I didn't have the noble conviction to judge him by the laws of the Republic of Korea, like you did. In the end, I stained these hands with blood myself."
He stared at his trembling hands, then brushed them off once and clenched them into fists, as if blood still lingered on his skin.
"They say the most hollow revenge of all is paying death back with death. There was no way the man I'd become could've stopped to judge something like that."*
"……"
"And maybe that's why… why I never fully awakened to my memories of my previous life. Why, Cherry, I let you live this entire life believing that I was the one who killed you, hating me for it."
"Hah."
My head felt like it was about to burst. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to steady my breathing.
"Be quiet. Please. I need time to think."
As if he understood, Yoon Doyoon stepped back a pace.
"If I hadn't followed you into the swamp at Carmedan back then, I would've never recovered these memories."
"So when you said there was something you needed to confirm… you meant confirming that the memories we saw in the Carmedan swamp were yours?"
"That's right, Inspector. No, Cherry. Here in the Kratyn Forest, I recovered my memories piece by piece, and I've already put everything in order."
"Put in order…?"
Just because he had things sorted out, did that mean anything? My mind was spinning, on the verge of shattering.
Enoch had always been more rational than me, always thinking several steps ahead. Just like Yoon Doyoon had been.
Now, Enoch and Yoon Doyoon were beginning to overlap in my mind, and it felt as though he wasn't even willing to give me the time I needed to untangle this chaos.
"In this life, at least, I don't want to live bearing the name of your enemy anymore."
"…!"
"I won't stand against you again. I'll look in the same direction as you, shoulder to shoulder. Your enemies will be my enemies, and your allies, my allies."
A smile filled with quiet certainty curved his lips.
"That means this engagement has become something I desperately want, Cherry."
The man standing before me was both Enoch and Yoon Doyoon, the enemy of my previous life, and the rival of my present one.
The man I had hated for an entire lifetime, and the man I would now have to spend the rest of this life bound to, under the name betrothed.
"I…"
I would have to redefine who Enoch Gray was within me.
And yet.
"I don't know."
I didn't know how.
I couldn't trust Yoon Doyoon, but I trusted Enoch. I couldn't accept that Enoch was Yoon Doyoon, and yet Enoch was Yoon Doyoon.
Even the memories of my past life, which I thought I could rely on, no longer felt trustworthy.
And still, the chasm of rage I had built over so long ran far too deep for me to be swayed by his words alone.
🍓; *Killing someone as revenge is ultimately empty and meaningless, but he was too consumed, broken, or unhinged at the time to recognize or care about that.
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