PBUY Chapter 19

Nellie's words made Chester feel a tightness in his throat. Since the war, he had not known a single day of ease.

And yet his young caregiver said she wanted him to be comfortable.

Could I... dare to accept that?

He hid the expression that wanted to twist across his face and, with measured calm, asked Nellie.

"Why did you think that?"

"Because… of course. I'm Mr. Coleman's caregiver. It was the same when I cared for Mrs. Hudson."

Chester looked at her silently.

"I want you to be free from pain and at ease, and… in time, Mr. Coleman, I hope you'll no longer have any need for my help."

"Then you would lose your job, wouldn't you, Miss McKay?"

"Even so."

Nellie's tone was resolute.

"Even if that happens, I want Mr. Coleman to live happily for a long time. It's far better than the patient dying and me losing my job."

"......"

Chester quietly watched Nellie's fingers, which had been fiddling with the dirt. Hadn't she once said the elderly person she had cared for at her previous post had died so she had to leave? He had heard the rough outline of Nellie's history from his aunt.

Perhaps that death had left a scar on her. Much as the war had left deep scars on him.

"Isn't that so?"

When Nellie looked up and smiled brightly again, Chester felt something he could not explain.

He couldn't bear to see her smiling with her forehead smudged with dirt…

Before he could think, he found his hand rising and he touched her forehead. When his fingertip met Nellie's brow, she flinched and her shoulder trembled.

"There's dirt on your forehead."

It was a very brief touch. Yet Chester felt as if time slowed strangely.

Nellie's eyelashes fluttered shut. Awkward, slightly uncomfortable, she wrinkled her nose.

"Oh? Thank you."

"Don't worry about overstepping, about things like that. I enjoyed it too."

"Really…?"

Nellie asked cautiously.

"Yes. Which means you may continue to do so from now on."

Nellie beamed. Then she added.

"I hope next year the garden will be full of flowers."

Chester suddenly felt his throat tighten, so he turned his gaze away.

***

A few days after they had planted the flowers in the garden, Chester silently handed her a white envelope.

"Would you take this to the post office for me?"

Nellie immediately realized what it was.

"Mr. Coleman! You're attending the wedding!"

Chester didn't answer, but Nellie clasped both of his hands with a bright smile.

"That's a wonderful decision! I told you I'd make sure you'd walk again, didn't I?"

Before she could continue, Chester cut her off.

"If you don't send it quickly, it won't arrive in time, Miss McKay."

"Then shall we go together? We could take a walk on the way."

Nellie was trying her hardest to coax him out of the house somehow. Chester could see her efforts clearly, and it amused him.

Ever since the day he went for a walk and happened to meet the lady next door, Chester had refrained from going out again. He had practically gone back into seclusion.

He wasn't sure exactly what had soured his mood but truthfully, he did know. Still, even when the person involved said it was fine, he kept making excuses not to go outside.

"The weather isn't good today, so I don't feel like going out."

But that day, the sun was blazing and not a single cloud was in the sky, the most perfect weather imaginable.

"I really like the song I'm listening to right now, so I don't want to leave."

When she said they could go out after the song ended, he replied he wanted to savor the emotion a bit longer. She had no idea what that even meant, but agreed anyway.

And so, the entire afternoon passed until Nellie's shift ended, with Chester never moving from the sofa.

By the time he said, "I'm not in the mood for a walk because I haven't felt well since morning," Nellie felt like she might scream.

To make things worse, Chester even told her she didn't have to walk George every day anymore, saying the dog preferred staying indoors anyway.

Naturally, Nellie's determination to make Chester walk again only burned brighter. It was a personal challenge now, though one Chester clearly paid no attention to.

When he again showed signs of making excuses not to go outside, Nellie persisted.

"I really think going out together would do you good, Mr. Coleman. You'll get some exercise too."

"Why did the conversation turn that way? I only asked you to go to the post office."

"Oh my! Do you really trust me that much? What if I don't actually go there and just wander off somewhere?"

"Then I suppose I wouldn't be able to attend the wedding."

"…That won't do."

Nellie murmured to herself, then added.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Coleman. But I'm your caregiver, not your maid. That kind of errand is outside my job description, you'll have to do it yourself."

"Then I suppose I won't be able to attend the wedding."

"Ahh! Fine! I'll go! I'll go, all right? You're so... unbelievable!"

Nellie fumed.

"You really are impossible, you know that?"

Yet, despite her grumbling, she dutifully began to get ready. She slung her bag over her shoulder and carefully tucked the white envelope inside.

"You really know how to make use of your caregiver, don't you?"

"That's why I pay the highest weekly wage in town, Miss McKay."

"Money isn't everything, you know! You shouldn't live life with such a shallow mindset. You'll be punished for it someday."

"So I won't end up in hell, then? It must not be that bad. You did tell me to go to hell the first time we met, after all."

"…Couldn't we just call that a memorable first encounter instead?"

At her words, Chester couldn't help but laugh softly. Watching her, he felt something unexplainable stir inside him.

Nellie was dressed as she always was, her hair neatly tucked into a net, a white blouse on top, and a black skirt that reached her knees. She carried that large, worn leather bag slung over one shoulder.

What was it about her…?

He didn't think too hard on it. Instead, he changed his mind on impulse.

"Let's go together, Miss McKay."

That was rare for him. He wasn't one to change his mind suddenly.

Nellie immediately grabbed both his hands and shook them excitedly.

"Really? You'll come with me? That's great!"

"…Just a moment. I'll change my clothes first."

While he changed out of habit, Chester couldn't quite identify the odd feeling he'd had earlier.

"Are you dressed yet?"

Before his young caregiver could barge into his room again to rush him, he quickly replied.

"Yes. I just need to put on my tie."

"You're wearing a tie… to the post office?"

Nellie sounded completely baffled.

"Just a minute more. I'll be done soon."

He quickly looped a navy tie around his neck and slipped on a blue striped jacket. It was a style that had been fashionable a few years ago, and he wasn't particularly fond of it but he didn't really have much else to wear.

After years of staying indoors, cut off from the world, his wardrobe was rather lacking.

Still, if he kept finding reasons to go out like this, perhaps it was time to have a few new suits made. Maybe even get his young caregiver a new outfit or two as well…

Settling his thoughts, Chester brushed off his jacket and stepped out of his room.

The moment he appeared, Nellie hurried over to support him.

"My goodness, Mr. Coleman! Are you going on a date or something? No one dresses up like that just to go to the post office!"

"……"

Nellie beamed at him, full of praise. Chester pressed his lips together to keep them from curving upward.

The clothes he wore were outdated and didn't even fit properly and yet Nellie always told him he looked handsome.

Because of that, the things that used to bother him, how ridiculous he might look in the eyes of others, all began to feel meaningless.

Especially when he looked into those bright, glass-like eyes of hers.

Chester cleared his throat softly.

"It would be best if we took a taxi. It would be too much strain for you to support me all the way to the post office, Miss McKay."

The post office was quite far from 331 Fitz Street, in the commercial district.

"Yes, that sounds fine."

***

The post office was crowded, with a long line of customers stretching toward the door.

"There are so many people today. We'll have to wait a bit. Mr. Coleman, would you like to sit over there?"

Nellie pointed to a chair in the corner.

If he stood too long, his legs might tremble and give out, it would be a pitiful sight. Even a short walk was difficult for him; standing and waiting would be far worse.

"…All right."

Chester quietly agreed and took a seat.

It had been a long time since he'd been somewhere this busy, not since the movie theater last time.

If the fire alarm hadn't gone off, he probably wouldn't have panicked then either…

He regretted that. They hadn't been able to finish the movie, and Nellie had seemed to enjoy it so much.

Even now, Chester still occasionally suffered panic attacks. Crowded places filled him with dread.

But maybe… maybe someday he really could get better.

Just as he tried to cling to that thin thread of hope.

The sound of people chatting at the counters, cars honking outside, the creak of the old door opening and closing each time someone entered.

Trivial, everyday noises. But to Chester, each sound scraped against his nerves, slowly wearing them down.

His breathing began to quicken.

The signs of panic were creeping in.